Oh, the joy of having both children out of the house while I made dinner... I didn't mutter "f#*k" once. #domesticmiracles
3YO (pointing to nipples): "Mommy, look, these are my ankles."
(Reconsidering) "What are these?"
"Those are your nipples."
"Oh. You have those, too, right there."
"Yes, I do."
"And I have them too, on my fingers."
"Well, that's your chest."
"Mm hmm. Nibbles on my fingers."
Sure, whatever it takes to shut this down.
3YO: "Mommy, I don't like you. I don't like you either, Daddy."
Husband: "What did I do?"
3YO: "Nothing. I don't like anyone. I only like myself."
It's liberating to give up all hope you are still cool and just enjoy a taco and a beer with your 1-year-old at 5pm then call it a night.
Dear Baby: Sorry when you caught a glimpse of me going by the gym locker room I ducked and ran. #YouKnowYouveDoneIt
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